Niccolea’s poetry contest and my first top ten attempt

Apparently this is a thing.  I’m excited, are you? Do it with me, if you dare!

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/14581032/posts/1711

“If you would like to see the poems I am writing,  I will be putting them into a book which I will divide the profits between Rachel’s campaign The Outlast Project and the local women’s shelter in my area. If you would like to pre-order this book, you can do so for $15 via PayPal to nmnance@gmail.com and please be sure to include your shipping address. THANK YOU!”

“PROMPT: What ghosts flesh your body?”

“IF YOU ARE PARTICIPATING IN THE 30/30 THIS MONTH I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW ABOUT IT! LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS. IF YOU ARE SHARING YOUR POEMS, PLEASE PUT A LINK TO YOUR SITE OR BLOG! ^_^”

Ghosts are real, and we all have them

Though we try to say we don’t

Hiding in our inner attic

Waiting for us to be alone.

Attacking here, prodding there.

Will you ever be enough?

Is your life really adding up

To anything you’re dreaming of?

Ask yourself now, if you dare

what kind of impact have you made.

If you were dead

Or had never existed,

would even one single life be changed?

If I were to never wake

and pray the Lord my soul to take

would my family, my friends, my mate

truly grieve for me at my grave?

These are questions

I avoid for fear of fearing death

I dare not try to bridge that darkness

I’m too scared to attempt.

I may not like what I would find

Were I to reach the other side.

God forbid these ghosts be real

for if they are, why am I here?

So there’s your fill of really, dark, depressing stuff for the day.  Let me do something, short, bright, and airy to lighten this post up a little bit.  That was just sad.

Days are just days, nothing more and nothing less.

So while you’ve got the time you should make the best of it.

Think about the bright side, because you know it’s always there.

Forgive and just let go often make a lovely pair.

There, now you don’t have to cry yourself to sleep tonight.  I’m sorry this is totally unrelated to what I usually talk about, but I’m getting around to something.  I was cooking up a few ideas while I was in the shower (scientifically proven to be a great thinking place) when I decided to do a top ten post.  Why? Because they’re fun.  Side note about showers, Capricorns are said to often take two hour long showers.  That’s accurate, because I prefer baths and one can easily turn into the other.  Here’s a different source that says, “Taking showers without warm water.”  NO.  Almost never.  Only when I’m supremely overheated or forced to do this for some awful, no good, very bad, terrible reason.

https://www.wattpad.com/122386300-zodiac-signs-etc-signs-in-the-shower

I’m going to do a top ten post over the top ten worst fashion trends of the 1900s-present.  This should be fun.  I expect to see a lot of the 80s representing.  Some 90s, too, along with the early 2000s tagging along.  Early 2000s were so boring and generally bad in the USA honestly.  I feel like the 90s boom was slowing down and we were just leading up to the 2008 housing bubble burst financial crisis that was the worst thing to happen to our economy since the Great Depression.  Too many housing loans were given out to way, WAY too many people who could not pay them.  Bad things happen when thousands of people default on their loans which have been bought and sold ten times over at once.  Very.  Bad.  Things.  Watch the movie The Big Short if nothing I just said made sense.  Honestly, watch it regardless.  It’s an actor powerhouse movie, very good.

This is not exactly what I wanted, but it will do.  This is “Worst Fashion Trends of Every Decade.”  I’ll put them in my own personal order of horridness.  There should be 11 things in total.  Nope, they overkilled this one.  The 2000s were awful, so they picked 30 trends drawing several from the 90s and the 2000s.

 

Well, let’s start at the beginning, shall we?  1900s Corsets.  I don’t even have to see the others.  I’m nearly positive these uncomfortable death traps will be at the top of my list. (I was wrong, these are the runner-ups) It’s hilarious that these have tried to make a come-back as outerwear.  I haven’t seen it catching on much.  We do still have them in costumes fairly often.  Women also wear Spanx now.  They’re the second worst thing, maybe.  I don’t care what you say, there’s nothing comfortable about compressing all of your unsightly body fat into one tiny, hot area.  NOT COOL.

 

Oh my goodness, I was wrong…the 1970s had a horrendous trend I have never heard of.  SAFETY PIN FACIAL PIERCINGS D: coming in clutch as the winner of worst fashion trend of all time.  Why don’t I just go ahead and get an infection, without the hideous facial jewelry, if that’s what you call that?  This was part of the underground punk-rock movement.  Too far with sticking it to the man, man.  Too far.

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1980s takes third.  You already know what it is if you grew up in the 80s.  Parachute pants of the 90s, aka M.C. Hammer pants.  The man himself is not pulling them off.

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I didn’t know this existed, but this trend from the 90s makes this girl look like she belongs on the set of a show intended for four-year-olds.  Blossom hats come in at number four.  What were we thinking, ladies?  Every day simply cannot be the Kentucky Derby lite (intentionally misspelled to be like a diet drink).

 

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1990s here we go again with five.  Popcorn shirts.  No, just no.  Every single one of these needs to be burned in a massive bonfire.  It should take place at Burning Man.  That’s an awesome music festival out in the middle of nowhere in the Nevada desserts.  Because that’s what everyone in Nevada wants to do in the 100 degree Fahrenheit heat; set something massive on fire.  In this music festival’s case, it’s traditionally a very large, very tall man sculpture made from wood.  Hence the name Burning Man.  It’s a very artsy, eclectic affair.  I think the music is punk rock-ish, though. {See “The art of being a bump-on-a-log” for a better description of Burning Man}

 

2000s very, very low rise jeans for number 6.  No one wants to see your butt crack; unless you happen to be Kim Kardashian.  If that’s the case though, most of the world has already seen it.  Now now, no need to be offended.  She’s pulled SO many publicity stunts.  An accidental underwear sighting would be the least of her worries.

 

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2000s again takes seven, Uggs with mini-skirts.  Let me scream, “I AM WHITE TRASH!!!” at you.  Uggs can be worn in an acceptable manner.  They are a basic white girl wardrobe staple.  Know your limits, and don’t be the girl on the left.  Her face is not in the picture because she was also making fun of the trend, not buying into it.  No, you do not have to fork out $300 for real Uggs unless you care that much about the brand.  Many consumers say Uggs are a dying breed now, anyways, so I would not suggest it.  I have two pairs of size 8s myself, and I’d like to sell one or both of them for the right price.  The person who still does the Uggs with a miniskirt thing, though, has a tramp stamp.  I say person, as in singular, because there is only one women left who is oblivious enough to continue trying to pull off this look.  Quite possibly not even one.  If you know this women, approach her as gently as possible but get her help ASAP!    

 

One iconic 1980s trend was wearing every color in the world at once.  I do mean EVERY color.  No colors left behind, folks.  They mean business for terrible trend eight.   

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Number nine involves the 1970s introducing jumpsuits for men.  This is a trend that’s extremely difficult to successfully wear.  A man who can successfully don a jumpsuit is a rare find ladies.  If you find one, Hold on Loosely.

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For number ten, I picked a really pointless trend.  Women were expected to wear white gloves in the 1950s.  Why don’t you just give me two gallons of Oxiclean (R.I.P. Billy Mays, I hope you’re yelling at the angels while making Heaven a little bit whiter) and bleach a day now?  Trying to wear white gloves every day would tempt me to start mixing chemicals and sniffing them.  *Warning: DON’T try that.  The fumes will kill you.*  I’ll need those if I’m trying to pull this white glove trend off for an entire day of being out of the house, though.  This trend is utterly ridiculous.  Women are expected to cook, clean, take care of kids, provide comfort for husband, make the home a comfortable nest, and fix the dear a martini for when he comes home ALL WHILE having white gloves at the ready??? I know they were meant for out of the house, but outside of church and grocery shopping, did women even leave the house in the 50s.  Seriously, I’d love to hear from a housewife in the 50s if any of you ever find this by happenstance.

 

Coming in at eleven, the 1910s bring us the Hobble Skirt.  It is as awful as it sounds.  The ugliness of it probably ages you prematurely by approximately 30 years, forcing you to hobble before your time.  This abolitionist, prudish, temperance movement, bible beating woman looking dress is that tragic.  Not that all of those movements were bad things.  I’m not really a fan of temperance myself, but I understand why they did it. I think they went about it the wrong way though.  Charging into a bar with an axe and smashing barrels of beer may not have been the best approach…maybe, just maybe, they could have kept it peaceful.  Yes, I’m sure they used their words first and resorted to violence last.  I hope that was the case, anyways.

 

For number twelve, I picked one I have a personal vendetta against.  1950s poodle skirts were pretty bad.  The fact that I was forced against my will to sing in a show wearing a poodle skirt does not help my opinion of these large, swooshy monstrosities.  It was lip sync for a sorority.  All the freshmen were required to do it.  I don’t want to talk about it; it was honestly traumatizing for me.  The only advice I can give you is this:  if you ever do something similar to this, do not under any circumstances volunteer to pay for something for the entire group and expect to be repaid in full.  For one thing, if the thing you ordered is wrong, you are completely to blame now.  For another thing, you will not be paid by everyone.  I went about $100 in the hole over these freaking, stupid, ugly skirts.  Ugh.  We won.  It was not worth my time and effort AT ALL.  But that’s just me, I know there were girls who loved it.

Lucky number thirteen [2013 was the year I graduated high-school, fun fact] is the lovely little sweater vest. The 1970s had sweater vests coming into fashion.  They aren’t cute.  They aren’t even utilitarian, really.  I know they can be made to look decent in the workplace, but it’s a sweater without sleeves.  If it’s cold enough to wear a sweater…you’re probably going to want sleeves attached to it.  Yes, you typically wear these over another shirt.  No, I do not think this makes sweater vests much more useful or cute.

 

I must continue to number fourteen, because I can’t stop at thirteen due to superstitious readers, you’re welcome.  I present everything Madonna is wearing in this photo.

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Side note to quote the wise Micheal Scott of The Office, “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little-stitious.”

Madonna was a pop icon forever.  She still is, if you ask me.  Her impression on music will be remembered for ages, as will her wildly outlandish sense of style.  Everything she did became somewhat cool eventually (I think), and that’s pretty unfortunate.  Take a look for yourself.  Maybe this kind of style is more your speed; it isn’t mine. It’s about 110 mph over my speed, I believe.  Madonna should have been jailed by the fashion police for this one…for extreme speeding, get it? Eh, if I had to explain it, it wasn’t that funny.  I am guilty of wearing way too many bracelets, but I don’t go that overboard.  I want to turn her jacket around the right way so, so, so badly.  Looking at that backwards jacket and that awful graphic miniskirt hurts my soul a little bit.

 

I’ll do fifteen, but this one is from another website.  I found the original crocs.  You know what they look like.  You managed to erase this atrocity from your mind altogether?  The cover photo at the top of the blog can refresh your memory.  These should honestly be higher up the list, I simply failed to think about them until now.  I would probably put them at number eight after Uggs with miniskirts.  These Crocs were terrible.  If you don’t admit it, you’re just in denial.  Get out of that river in Egypt and agree with the rest of the world that it’s time to let the rubber monsters in your closet go.  Walk them on down to Goodwill and/or the trash.  Some of Crocs’ new shoes made in a less riddled with holes style are cute, light-weight, and comfortable.  The originals were not at all acceptable in any way.  I do admit to owning a yellow pair myself.  It was not one of my finer moments, as a child.  I also owned a pair of clunky, tan Wallabies *shutter*.

 

That’s my take on the worst trends of every decade.  Follow the link wayyyyy above to see the other sixteen trends.  The remaining sixteen trends were ones that I either forgot about or found halfway acceptable.  The very last trend was 2000s having a dog as an accessory.  I was on the verge of including it, but then I thought, “That one’s actually kind of fun, and it brings joy to people.”  It’s especially fun when the dog and the owner dress in matching outfits.  Even more so when they having matching hair {or manicures}.  Some dog owners are insane.  If I ever start looking like my pug, currently a pug named Max, just shoot me.  Aim to kill because I promise you, I’m either entirely too old or extremely lonely.

 

Here’s more bad trend websites in case you’re really bored today:

http://www.glamour.com/gallery/the-best-and-worst-fashion-trends-ever  best and worst because variety matters.

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/beauty/fashion/g2898/worst-2000s-fashion-trends/  Like I said, the 2000s were a dark time for fashion.

http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/15-historys-worst-fashion-trends/6  this one’s for the books.

“Friends don’t let friends wear bad outfits,” –The New York Times  

 

 

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